The red crayon
by SerceZGazety
Summary: Wreaking havoc isn't the same without Perry the Platypus.


Okay. English is not my native language and it's pretty easy to notice. Sorry about the punctuation.

Characters obviously don't belong to me.

THE RED CRAYON

The 15-dollar doctor was trying not to squee. He made an attempt to hide his nervousness behind a wide smile and somehow it worked. He resembled a five-year-old expecting a new toy.

He was so excited! Perry the Platypus was going to love this.

Doofenshmirtz, with a broad grin, checked the time. He jut couldn't wait to see his nemesis' expression. His Keep-Away-From-Books-Inator was going to prevent all the kids in the Tri-State Area from reading, just like he couldn't read back in Druselstein. The smell of pork was so terrible he had been thrown out of the library. And the funny thing was that probably no one was going to notice any difference. No one liked to read anyways.

It was going to work. This time he hid the self-destruct button.

Doctor rubbed his hands, hoping he looked evil enough, whistled and let the insane happiness take over. He had to wait just few more minutes.

* * *

><p>Three hours later he was pacing from window to his new Inator anxiously. There was still no thwarting.<p>

Doofenshmirtz felt disappointed. This plan might actually work, he just knew it. He spent very long time on that day's evil scheme as he understood it was a special occasion. He could have wreaked havoc in the whole Tri- State- Area if he was given a chance. But no! The mad scientist wasn't worth anyone's attention.

'Someone would have thought that five years of shared animosity would mean anything' he exclaimed angrily and threw hands up in an over-dramatic manner. 'Today I could have already taken over the whole Tri- State- Area instead of waiting for my only nemesis to show up. But does it mean anything? Nooo!'

He glanced nervously at the window, hoping to see a sudden movement. The little platypus was still absent. How dared he?

It wasn't like Doofenshmirtz actually cared or something. If that stinky animal wasn't going to show up, fine. The mad scientist had every intention of carrying on with his evil plan and no one would stop him. Doctor would definitely not weep like a schoolgirl when the Tri- State- Area was waiting to be conquered.

But somehow he just didn't feel like wreaking havoc anymore.

* * *

><p>The window opened silently and a small shape in fedora entered the room.<p>

Agent P looked around, expecting a trap. There was none.

'Ah, Perry the Platypus! Finally found a moment for your arch-enemy?' said a familiar voice. Heinz Doofenshmirtz turned the light on with a frown. He stared at the visitor with the expression normally reserved for unfaithful spouses. He was obviously trying to look scary but mostly, he just seemed hurt.

Perry let out a customary chatter.

'What do you mean: Monobrow didn't tell you I had a plan? What the hell! You couldn't just think for yourself, eh?' doctor asked angrily. His accent became thicker when he was aggravated. 'Hey, today it's the fifth anniversary of the first encounter with my nemesis. Let's not see him today, he's not up to anything, eh? Why should he be up to anything, it's not important, eh? He wouldn't put some balloons on the new trap just for the occasion, eh?'

Doofenshmirtz began waving his hands in the air, as he usually did when he wanted to appear more dramatic. He couldn't speak without proper gesticulation.

He approached Perry step by step until his nose was almost leaning againt the beak. 'Eh? EH? ' he repeated furiously, not expecting any answer.

The platypus suppressed the urge to eye roll. After all, he knew doctor for five years. He shouldn't be surprised by his overreaction.

'So finally you come here in the middle of the night, 'cause you suddenly remember that I exist?' the man continued ranting. 'I am flattered! But hey! You know what? I've changed my mind. No evil scheme this time. I've turned my new invention off without your help. I can manage by myself! I can thwart my own plans better than you would. How do you like that? '

Doofenshmirtz grimaced triumphantly. Perry shook his head in disbelief. This was simply ridiculous. Did he really want to punish him by abandoning an evil plot?

'I don't need you anymore, Perry the Platypus.'

Doctor's voice was suddenly on the verge of breaking. Mad scientist turned away to hide his expression. Dear God, was he crying? _Really_? That was just pathetic.

'I hope it will teach you a lesson. Don't underestimate your enemy. You can leave now.'

Agent P didn't move. He saw Doofenshmirtz take few steps to the door. His back was more hunched than usually.

Suddenly he stopped in the doorframe and turned back with a very poorly hidden hope.

'Perry the Platypus, what were you doing here, if you didn't know about my evil scheme?' he asked suspiciously. A wide smile spread on his face.

Then, with shaking fingers he took the card from animal's hand.

'Happy Neme-versary' he read. 'Why, Perry the Platypus, I didn't know you could actually write with these silly hands of yours!' doctor beamed.

This time Perry _did_ eye roll. How could he be so naive to expect a 'thank you'. It was Doofenshmirtz after all.

'Oh, wait!' he heard, as he was about to leave. 'You used a red crayon! You know I hate the red colour! You've heard the backstory! You know, the one with spilled ketchup and the angry bull? Curse you, Perry the Platypus!'

Last time Doofenshmirtz sounded so happy was exactly five years ago.


End file.
